This is a picture of my hands prior to learning about my allergies. This is a very long blog post but was too inexplicably tied to separate into several posts 
God Brought Me Through Great Suffering and I Learned how to Surrender Myself Completely– It’s All for His Glory
Life is filled with highs and lows, victories and trials. For me, the past few years have been marked by profound suffering, the kind that makes you question everything you once held certain. But as I stand on the other side, I know that God was with me all along, using my suffering to reveal something far greater – His glory and His perfect plan.
My journey through suffering began unexpectedly. Events unfolded that left me feeling hopeless. Every day was a battle to find meaning, to hold onto hope, and to trust that God was with me and for me.
I developed severe skin chemical sensitivities around 2020. The emotional pain was particularly overwhelming. It took almost a year to pinpoint the exact causes. Every time I contacted my then unknown allergens, the reactions were increasingly severe. There were days each of my fingers, as well as my entire hands were bandaged. There were days I couldn’t use them-to grip utensils, to brush my hair, to use fine motor skills to cook for my family. The images of my hands show the visible struggle, but they only hint at the deeper emotional and spiritual battle I faced. I had physical pain but even simple tasks seemed insurmountable.
In the midst of my suffering, I questioned God’s goodness and His plan for me. Why would a loving God allow me to endure such pain? Was He even listening to my cries for help? My faith felt fragile and uncertain.
My allergies became so severe I was having deep tissue swelling. If anyone touched my phone or computer, or steering wheel (my youngest had his permit at the time), I would get reactions. Everything I bought commercially gave me a reaction. It’s all cross contaminated. I had to learn how to make my own soap. At first I was angry. It hadn’t already been enough that I had been through?!
Even in my darkest moments, there were glimpses of hope. Friends and family who offered support, scripture verses that spoke to my soul, and moments of unexpected peace reminded me that God had not abandoned me. God was at work, even if I couldn’t see it yet.
It wasn’t until I fully surrendered my suffering to God that I began to find its purpose. And that wasn’t totally until this last year. Through prayer and reflection, I finally realized that my trials were shaping me, molding me into a person who relied fully on God’s strength rather than my own. I learned to let go of my need for control and to trust in God’s sovereignty. I lived far too long trying to rely on my own strength.
It was here that I began to realize all I had to be grateful for instead of feeling defeated and asking why me. I was in physical and emotional pain. But I was still alive. I still had my family, my faith, the will to keep fighting another day. And the knowledge that I was not alone in my suffering. That many others have been through or survived greater pain than I had. Those persecuted for the faith, in a persistent state of war, the poor and homeless, the atrocities of genocide committed against people, and most of all, the undeserved suffering of Jesus on the cross. In my place. After all, he did say we would have trials and pain and suffering in this world. Who would know the tolls of suffering better than Christ?
God also used my situation to deepen my empathy for others. I began to see those around me who were struggling and felt compelled to offer them the same comfort and hope that I had received. My pain became a bridge to connect with others, to share God’s love in a tangible way.
Slowly, I began to see the better plan that God had in store for me. The challenges I faced had refined my character, strengthened my faith, and revealed a new direction for my life. Opportunities that I had never imagined opened up, leading me to serve others and to glorify God in ways I never thought possible.
Through it all, I’ve come to understand that my suffering was not just about me. It was about God’s glory. By bringing me through great trials, He demonstrated His faithfulness, His power, and His love. My story is a testament to His ability to redeem even the darkest circumstances for His purposes.
I absolutely love making skin products, especially soaps! I’m passionate about it. In the early stages I considered there were other people with similar skin sensitivities and maybe I could start a business with my soaps. I gave up quickly. Because at the time I thought it was my idea to go into business and my decision to say I wasn’t doing it.
In the past year, I started having a push if you will, a voice telling me this is what I was supposed to be doing. I didn’t listen right away and dismissed it as my own wishful thinking. But it was persistent. I finally realized it wasn’t my own voice but God’s. And I realize now that we have such a good Father! So why would there be absolutely no purpose to our pain?
I love what I do. I hope to make a living doing it. I hope to provide a missing need for people. But all of what I do is for God’s glory. To share my trials and experiences and tell and reassure others of His great love for us. I’ve been told I’m very creative. Asked how I come up with the names and recipes and scent profiles. It’s not me. It’s all Him working through me. I’m a better person today because of my suffering. It’s the best thing that could have happened in my life! And I am still learning daily to give Him control. I told my husband that I wasn’t trying to create a global brand or anything huge and then reversed course. I don’t get to decide that. If it’s a part time gig and that’s all it is or if it takes me places I never imagined, either way it’s for Him to lead me to.
If you find yourself in the midst of suffering, take heart. God has not abandoned you. He is with you, working in ways that you may not yet see. Trust that He has a better plan for your life, one that will ultimately bring Him glory. Surrender your pain to Him, and allow Him to transform it into something beautiful. Remember, it is through our trials that God often reveals His greatest blessings.
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13